Parenting Tips
The T.R.I.C.K. Method
How to Raise Successful People by Esther Wojcicki introduces a breakthrough approach to parenting and education, built around five core principles known as the T.R.I.C.K. method: Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness. This holistic philosophy empowers children to thrive in the real world, chase their passions, and build resilience, all while strengthening family relationships.
Wojcicki’s approach challenges common modern parenting trends like helicopter parenting and over-protection. She argues that fostering autonomy and self-direction is the true path to raising successful, happy people. This guide breaks down each part of TRICK, offers practical applications, and explains the foundations behind the method.
Parenting TRICK App
Get the TRICK method on your phone, available on the Apple App Store and Google Play.
Why the T.R.I.C.K. Method Matters
Wojcicki’s philosophy is rooted in her real-world experience as both an educator and a parent. She raised three accomplished daughters: Susan Wojcicki, the late former CEO of YouTube; Anne Wojcicki, co-founder of the genetics company 23andMe; and Janet Wojcicki, a professor and epidemiologist. These outcomes fuel interest in her parenting principles.
The TRICK approach is not just about career success. It’s about nurturing children who are confident, socially responsible, and emotionally intelligent. It reframes traditional notions of success and equips parents to guide children toward becoming well-rounded adults.
Trust: The Foundation of Growth
Trust is the first and most fundamental part of TRICK. Wojcicki holds that trusting your child’s capabilities and instincts gives them the internal confidence to face life’s challenges. Trust also means trusting your own judgment as a parent: believe your child has potential, and resist the urge to control every aspect of their development.
Trust in Practice
- Start early. Let infants and toddlers experiment and explore safely. Allowing a baby to self-soothe to sleep is one example of trust over anxiety-driven intervention.
- Encourage risk-taking. Give age-appropriate responsibilities: let them prepare meals, choose clothes, or manage small chores.
- Embrace failure. Support your child through setbacks rather than rescuing them, a philosophy Wojcicki calls “fail fast and revise.”
When children feel trusted, they’re less anxious about failure and more open to learning from challenges, a crucial part of lifelong success.
Respect: Honoring Individuality
Respect means valuing children as individuals with unique interests, strengths, and perspectives. Wojcicki encourages parents to listen to their child’s inner voice, and to understand and honor it, rather than imposing parental expectations or life models.
Respectful Practices
- Listen actively. Give your child full attention when they express thoughts, emotions, or preferences.
- Avoid comparisons. Resist comparing siblings or peers. Celebrate your child’s individual milestones.
- Support passions. Offer encouragement even for interests that diverge from your own expectations.
When children feel genuinely respected, they’re more likely to communicate openly and pursue meaningful goals.
Independence: Letting Children Own Their Choices
Independence is about enabling children to take responsibility for their lives. From early childhood through adolescence, Wojcicki emphasizes age-appropriate autonomy.
How to Foster Independence
- Chores and daily tasks. Let children do things for themselves, from making breakfast to organizing school materials.
- Decision-making. Offer choices rather than directives. Let them choose activities or set personal goals.
- Allow consequences. Rather than shielding children from every negative outcome, let them experience consequences that teach responsibility.
Independence nurtures critical thinking, problem-solving, self-confidence, and resilience, all traits linked to success in adulthood.
Collaboration: Building Relationships
Collaboration isn’t just teamwork. It’s communication, negotiation, shared decision-making, and mutual respect. Wojcicki emphasizes that parents should work with their children, not dictate to them.
Collaboration in Action
- Family decisions. Engage children in age-appropriate decisions, like planning schedules or resolving conflicts.
- Problem-solve together. Instead of “do it my way,” brainstorm solutions together.
- Open dialogue. Encourage honest conversations where kids feel heard and validated.
Collaboration teaches children to communicate effectively, understand diverse perspectives, and balance their needs with those of others, essential skills in friendships, workplaces, and leadership.
Kindness: The Heart of a Successful Life
Wojcicki defines kindness as a way of life, not a superficial gesture. It involves empathy, compassion, gratitude, and service toward others, and it’s central to creating socially responsible, emotionally balanced individuals.
Instilling Kindness
- Model kind behavior. Children learn kindness by observing their parents’ daily interactions.
- Daily acts of kindness. Incorporate service, helping neighbors, volunteering, showing appreciation, into family life.
- Teach empathy. Discuss feelings, perspectives, and motivations in real-life and fictional contexts.
Children raised with kindness develop deeper relationships, greater emotional intelligence, and a genuine sense of ethics.
TRICK in the Real World
While TRICK is designed primarily for parenting, Wojcicki emphasizes that these principles apply broadly, in classrooms, workplaces, and communities:
- Teachers can trust students to take ownership of projects.
- Managers can show respect by involving employees in decision-making.
- Leaders can promote kindness to build healthier organizational cultures.
TRICK vs. Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting exerts heavy control to reduce risk. Unlike that approach, the TRICK method intentionally creates space for children to learn from setbacks, advocating support without over-monitoring.
Success in the TRICK framework isn’t measured only by academic acclaim, titles, or income. It includes confidence and resilience, emotional intelligence, empathy and social responsibility, and creativity and self-direction, a holistic concept that aligns with modern research on well-being.
Practical Daily Tips Based on TRICK
At Home
- Let your child plan a family meal or manage a mini-budget.
- Involve them in setting household rules.
- Give choices instead of mandates.
At School
- Encourage projects that align with their interests.
- Foster peer collaboration and student-driven learning.
- Recognize effort over test scores.
In the Community
- Volunteer together.
- Encourage service projects based on their passions.
- Discuss real-world challenges with empathy.
Why TRICK Changes Parenting
The T.R.I.C.K. method offers a clear, values-driven path for raising children prepared for the complexities of adult life. As a framework, it:
- Encourages autonomy and self-confidence
- Builds emotional and social intelligence
- Fosters resilience through hands-on learning
- Cultivates meaningful relationships and ethical behavior
- Applies to parenting, teaching, and leadership
By integrating Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness, parents and educators can help children thrive with purpose, integrity, and joy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does TRICK stand for?
TRICK stands for Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness, the five core principles of Esther Wojcicki’s parenting philosophy from her book How to Raise Successful People.
Who created the TRICK method?
Educator, journalist, and author Esther Wojcicki, known as “The Godmother of Silicon Valley,” developed the TRICK method over a long teaching career and while raising three accomplished daughters.
What ages does the TRICK method work for?
TRICK applies from early childhood through adolescence and beyond. The principles stay the same; how you apply them adapts to your child’s age and stage.
How is TRICK different from helicopter parenting?
Helicopter parenting reduces risk through heavy control. TRICK intentionally creates space for children to learn from setbacks, offering support without over-monitoring.